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Saturday, February 28, 2015

“Indeed most children’s corruption came from their parents and their neglect of them…”

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Ibnul-Qayyim Al-Jawziyyah رحمه الله said:

And Al-Bayhaqi narrated from the hadeeth of Anas رضي اللّه عنـه who said that:

'A man was sitting with the Prophet, so one of his sons came to him, so the man kissed him and sat him in his lap. Then his daughter came to him so he took her and sat her to his side. So the Prophet (صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم) said, ‘You were not just between them.’ And the Salaf used to like to be just between their children when kissing them.'

And some of the people of knowledge said that Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى will ask the parent about his child on the Day of Resurrection before asks the child about his parent. So just as the father has a right upon his son, the son has a right upon his father, as Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى said,

وَوَصَّيْنَا الْإِنسَانَ بِوَالِدَيْهِ حُسْنًا
And We have enjoined on man to be good and dutiful to his parents..”
[Al- ‘Ankabut:8]

Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى said,

يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواقُوا أَنفُسَكُمْ وَأَهْلِيكُمْ نَارًا
Ward off from yourselves and your families a Fire whose fuel is men and stones..”
[At-Tahreem:6]

Ali bin Abi Taalib رضي اللّه عنـه said,
“Teach them and discipline them!”

And Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى said,

وَاعْبُدُواْ اللّهَ وَلاَ تُشْرِكُواْ بِهِ شَيْئًا وَبِالْوَالِدَيْنِ إِحْسَانًا
Worship Allaah and join none with Him in worship, and do good to parents..
[An-Nisaa:36]

And the Prophet صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم said,
“Be just between your children.”

So Allaah’s order to the parents towards their children precedes the order to the children towards their parents.
Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى said,
وَلاَ تَقْتُلُواْ أَوْلادَكُمْ خَشْيَةَ إِمْلاقٍ
And kill not your children for fear of poverty..”
[Al-Israa':31]

So the one who neglects teaching his child that which will benefit him, and leaves him [i.e. the child] in vain, then he has wronged him in the most utmost way. And indeed most children’s corruption came from their parents and their neglect of them and their failure to teach them the obligations of this Religion and its Sunan. They caused the children to be lost while they were young, so they do not benefit themselves or their parents when they grow older just as some fathers criticized their son over him being undutiful, so he would say:

“O father, you were not dutiful to me while I was young, so I was not dutiful to you while you are older; you neglected me while younger so I neglected you as an old man.”

{Taken from: Tuhfat Al-Mawdood Bi Ahkaam Al-Mawlood, pgs. 160-161 (Chapter 15: “The Obligation of Disciplining the Children and Teaching Them, and Being Just Between Them.”)}

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