The Effect of Shyness upon Finding a Good Husband

 

O Muslim Sister !

In an effort to find a suitable spouse some of our Muslim sisters often resort to impermissible, demeaning methods such as free-mixing with men via the internet, chat rooms, marriage websites, social networks, sending pictures and the like. 

Unfortunately some of our sisters have been deceived into believing this to be the more effective technique for obtaining a spouse, removing from themselves the veil of shyness, modesty and dignity. 

O my sister in Islaam! Trust in Allaah and follow the blessed methodology of Islaam when choosing a mate.

Sheikh Saleh al Fawzaan explains how Allaahسُبحانه وتعالى  rewards the shy and modest woman with a good husband. The Sheikhحفظه الله  said:

Allaahسُبحانه وتعالى  said concerning the story of Musa:

وَلَمَّا وَرَدَ مَاء مَدْيَنَ وَجَدَ عَلَيْهِ أُمَّةً مِّنَ النَّاسِ يَسْقُونَ وَوَجَدَ مِن دُونِهِمُ امْرَأتَيْنِ تَذُودَانِ قَالَ مَا خَطْبُكُمَا قَالَتَا لَا نَسْقِي حَتَّى يُصْدِرَ الرِّعَاء وَأَبُونَا شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ

'And when he arrived at the water of Madyan he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: "What is the matter with you?" They said: "We cannot water (our flocks) until the shepherds take (their flocks). And our father is a very old man."'

(Al-Qasas 28:23)

فَسَقَى لَهُمَا ثُمَّ تَوَلَّى إِلَى الظِّلِّ فَقَالَ رَبِّ إِنِّي لِمَا أَنزَلْتَ إِلَيَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍ فَقِيرٌ

So he watered (their flocks) for them, then he turned back to shade, and said: "My Lord! Truly, I am in need of whatever good that You bestow on me!"

(Al-Qasas 28:24)

فَجَاءتْهُ إِحْدَاهُمَا تَمْشِي عَلَى اسْتِحْيَاء قَالَتْ إِنَّ أَبِي يَدْعُوكَ لِيَجْزِيَكَ أَجْرَ مَا سَقَيْتَ لَنَا

Then there came to him one of the two women, walking shyly. She said: "Verily, my father calls you that he may reward you for having watered (our flocks) for us."

(Al-Qasas 28:25)

So the timidity of these two women prevented them from crowding with the men at the watering hole, rather they waited until a shepherd appeared until they were able to water their flock without crowding with the men.

And when their father sent one of them to Musa requesting that he meets with their father, she came to Musa upon shyness. 

The result was that Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى chose her as a spouse for His Messenger, the one He spoke to directly, Musa عليه الصلاة والسلام. This was the result of her holding firm to shyness and timidity and being far away from mixing with men. 

As Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى said:

وَالطَّيِّبَاتُ لِلطَّيِّبِينَ وَالطَّيِّبُونَ لِلطَّيِّبَاتِ

 "Women of purity are for men of purity, and men of purity are for women of purity."

(An-Nur 24:26)  

This story appears in the Noble Qur'aan to be taken as a righteous example by the believing women until the Day of Judgement.

(Extracted from the speech of Sheikh Saleh al-Fawzaan)