The Effect of Shyness upon Finding a Good Husband

 

O Muslim Sister !

In an effort to find a suitable spouse some of our Muslim sisters often resort to impermissible, demeaning methods such as free-mixing with men via the internet, chat rooms, marriage websites, social networks, sending pictures and the like. 

Unfortunately some of our sisters have been deceived into believing this to be the more effective technique for obtaining a spouse, removing from themselves the veil of shyness, modesty and dignity. 

O my sister in Islaam! Trust in Allaah and follow the blessed methodology of Islaam when choosing a mate.

Sheikh Saleh al Fawzaan explains how Allaahسُبحانه وتعالى  rewards the shy and modest woman with a good husband. The Sheikhحفظه الله  said:

Allaahسُبحانه وتعالى  said concerning the story of Musa:

وَلَمَّا وَرَدَ مَاء مَدْيَنَ وَجَدَ عَلَيْهِ أُمَّةً مِّنَ النَّاسِ يَسْقُونَ وَوَجَدَ مِن دُونِهِمُ امْرَأتَيْنِ تَذُودَانِ قَالَ مَا خَطْبُكُمَا قَالَتَا لَا نَسْقِي حَتَّى يُصْدِرَ الرِّعَاء وَأَبُونَا شَيْخٌ كَبِيرٌ

'And when he arrived at the water of Madyan he found there a group of men watering (their flocks), and besides them he found two women who were keeping back (their flocks). He said: "What is the matter with you?" They said: "We cannot water (our flocks) until the shepherds take (their flocks). And our father is a very old man."'

(Al-Qasas 28:23)

Beauty of seeking knowledge of the religion....

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said:

“When Allaah granted Prophet Yoosuf عليه السلام physical beauty it caused him to be locked up in the prison; but when Allaah granted him knowledge (when he interpreted the dream of the king) it not only took him out of prison, but elevated his rank in society, clearly showing us the virtue of knowledge and that physical beauty DOES NOT mean anything.”

(Al-‘Ilm wa Fadhluhu wa Sharafuhu pg.32)

An Interview with Umm Saalih - A Grandmother Who Completed Memorizing the Qur'aan at the age of 82 years

 

- As read by Dr. Saleh as Saleh رحمه الله

Al-Hamdulillaah (All-Praise is due to Allaah), the One Who said: 

وَلَقَدْ يَسَّرْنَا الْقُرْآنَ لِلذِّكْرِ فَهَلْ مِن مُّدَّكِرٍ

"And in truth We have made the Qur'aan easy to remember; but is there any that remembers?"

(Al-Qamar 54: 32)

Al-Hamdulillaah, the One who made the Qur'aan easy for remembrance, had made it easy for Umm Saalih age 82 years. In an interview with Umm Saalih, she was asked the following questions:

Q1: "What was the reason that drove you to memorize the Qur'aan after so many years?"

She said, "I always hoped to memorize the Qur'aan from the time I was young. My father always used to invoke Allaah for me to become one of the memorizers of the Qur'aan, like himself and like the elder brothers of my family who memorized it. So I memorized in the beginning about three parts and then after I completed the age of thirteen, I got married and became busy with the household and the children. After I had seven children, my husband died. They (the children) were all young so I took the time to raise them and educate them, and then after they grew up and got married, I had more time for myself. Therefore, the first thing I directed myself to focus upon was the Qur'aan.

What is the G-R-E-A-T-E-S-T of Losses??

Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said:

“The one with a D-E-A-D heart will make you feel lonely. So, take advantage of his absence as much as possible, because you will not feel lonely except when he is with you.

If you are put to trial with him, give him your outer attention, wander from him with your heart, separate your inner self from him, and do not let him distract you from what is more deserving of your attention. Know that the GREATEST of losses is for you to be preoccupied with one who will bring you nothing but a loss in your time with Allaāh – the Mighty and Majestic – and being cut off from Him, wasting of your time on him, weakening of your energy, and dispersing of your attention.  

Mukhtasar Minhaj Al-Qâsidin Notes - Lessons 6 & 7

Mukhtasar Minhaj Al-Qâsidin

(Towards the Hereafter)

By: Ibn Qudamah Al-Maqdisi رحمه الله 

 

Taught by: Umm Hyatt al-Ameriki حفظها الله

NEW !!  {Lessons 6 & 7 have been added to the folder}

Ibn Mas'ud رضي اللّه عنـه said:

Allaah's Messenger صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم said: Each human has been assigned one jinn and one angel associated with him. They asked Him صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم: 'Is this the same for you O Allaah's Messenger?' He replied: 'It is the same for me, but Allaah has helped me against my jinn, he became Muslim and does not tell me to do anything but good.'

(Bukhari & Muslim)

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Sheikh Muqbil's advice to his students..

 

Sheikh Muqbil Al-Wadi’eeرحمه الله   used to say to his students:

يا أبنائي لو كان العلم يسقى في كأس لأسقيتموه ، ولكن لا يتحصّل عليه إلا بكد وحكِ الركب

“O My children! If knowledge could be poured into a glass, I would pour it for you, but it is not obtained except by hard work, exhaustion, and scraping of the knees.”

[Nubdhah Mukhtasarah, 44]

Be firm upon the TRUTH!

Sheikh Muhammad bin Saalih al-Uthaimeen رحمه الله

“Be FIRM, and DO NOT change (your stance) because of the large number of attacks on you nor due to (their) being offended by your words. As long as you are upon the TRUTH then be firm, for truth is never budged (by falsehood). Thereafter, defend (the truth) if you are in a weak position. There is nothing lesser than defending (the truth). But if you are in a strong position, then upon you is to attack (the falsehood). For the days take turns (sometimes in your favor and sometimes otherwise).

But (remember) the most important thing is that even if you are in a weaker position, then you should remain firm. And never say: ‘Oh, all the people are in opposition to this.’ Rather, be firm, for Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى aids His Deen, His Book, His Messenger throughout the ages.

No doubt that you will face harm (from the people). Here is Imaam Ahmad رحمه الله, he was dragged by a mule in the market and was whipped. But he was patiently firm.

Ways & means by which knowledge is obtained!

            

Edited by: Umm Hasna bint Jabir as-Saylâniyyah

Beneficial knowledge has certain ways and means by which it is obtained and certain paths that are taken in its acquisition and memorization. Amongst the most important of them are: 

Firstly: That the servant asks his Lord for the beneficial knowledge and that he seeks assistance by Him, the Exalted, and shows his need to Him. Allaah سُبحانه وتعالى ordered His Prophet, Muhammad صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم to ask Him that He increases him in knowledge, in addition to his knowledge.

He, سُبحانه وتعالى said:

رَّبِّ زِدْنِي عِلْمًا

And say, “O Lord! Increase me in knowledge.”

[Soorah Taa Haa (20):114].

  

 And the Messenger صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم used to say,

“O Allaah, benefit me with what you have taught me and teach me that which will benefit me and increase me in knowledge.”

[Reported by at Tirmidhee (5/578) and Ibn Maajah (1/92). Also refer to Saheeh Ibn Maajah (1/47)].

  Continue to read..

Keep your homes clean and organized !

Advice from Sheikh Saleh al Fawzaan حفظه الله:

"Be diligent (O sisters) in managing your time, such that your work can be enjoyable. And make you homes always like a clean organized garden; for the home is indicative of the lady of the house. And with cleanliness and organization the home will have the most beautiful representation, even if the furniture is modest and humble; and the opposite is also true. When the husband and the children return from their jobs and studies tired, and they find a home organized and clean it will lessen their stress and their load; and the opposite is true. Therefore a clean organized house is from the most important means for the home to be serene and comfortable."

Useful advice on raising children ... (MUST READ !!)

This is an excerpt from the Book of : Imâm Ibnul Qayyim al-Jawziyyah رحمه الله , a famous book called Tuhfat al-Mawdood bi Ahkaam al-Mawlood. One of the most important chapters of his book is the sixteenth chapter, which is entitled 'Fi fusool naafi’ah fi Tarbiyat al-Atfaal tuhmad ‘awaaqibuha ‘ind al-Kabr' (Useful advice on raising children which will have good consequences when the child grows up.)

Here is a summary of what Ibnul Qayyim رحمه الله said:

1. The child should be breastfed by someone other than his mother, two or three days after birth. That is better because her milk after that time will be thick and contain different ingredients, unlike the milk of one who has been breastfeeding for a while. All the Arabs pay attention to that, and they give their children to desert women to breastfeed, as the Prophet صلّى اللَّهُ عليه وسلّم was given to Banu Sa’d to be breastfed among them.

2. They should not be picked up and carried around until they are three months old or more, because they have only recently emerged from their mother’s wombs and their bodies are still weak.

3. They should be given only milk until their teeth appear, because their stomachs are weak and unable to digest food. When the baby’s teeth appear, his stomach has grown strong and is able to be nourished by food. Food should be introduced gradually.